This week I'm doing sales coaching with top performers in one of the world's largest IT companies. Every time I do so, there's one thing that always strikes me: Some sales people stand out. And just how do they differentiate themselves?

The first of three differentiators; they do it through passion!

There's a stunning difference between people who pass on and radiate energy from those who seem to absorb it. I've studied the subject of energy from a sales perspective for more than 7 years now. One of my discoveries has clearly been that passion is the first and basic force that drives successful sales people. So here's advice literally worth millions:

It doesn't matter whether we've just recently moved into sales or if we're "at the peak of our career". Everybody needs passion - the deep heartfelt desire and reason to share a message that matters. Whereas it is important to understand why passion is so crucial, of far greater consequence is the basic understanding about what it is that triggers this energy inside ourselves. Several factors have an impact on passion. For now, I'd like to briefly mention one of them.

"The overlapping of personal purpose, identity and agenda with business mission". When the values we have are in harmony with how we make our living - when what we do in our daily work effort becomes one and the same with what we have as our personal mission, this can help spark the energy called passion. This is when it becomes personal, when we begin to invest our soul in what we do. It's the beginning of a big difference. You become 100% for real, and no part of you is "somewhere else". This, believe it or not, is very easy to spot in any person. We can't hide it. It comes out automatically. Better make that change, or die trying. If we don't, we never had a life, anyway. I'm serious!

Do you know what I really love about being in "sales"? (...and I wouldn't miss it for a thing!)

One of the great things about selling is how we are constantly confronted with "being good to people". Being good to people is that delicious mixture of service, patience, hard work and perseverance. It's sending out energy - positive vibes. Once sent out, there's always something coming back. Almost every minute of the day you get pretty much instant feedback on how you're doing. Of course it hurts a lot when we fail. But when we succeed, my, it's such a kick!

I remember two particular clients while working with major deals in an international IT company. My peers would tell me how bad these people were and impossible to please - how they would never express a word of appreciation and all that. You get that every once in a while, especially when you persist where others give up. What a fantastic feeling I had when I was able to keep passing on positive energy and then finally see the fruits of it. These two clients have remained till this day among my best business contacts. It seems like whatever I do now, they always have that little extra for me... almost as if I triggered something deep inside them that will never quit.

This struggle "to win the heart and mind of people" - not business per se - is so wonderful. The magic that follows from this communicative struggle is a need for self reflection, self awareness and all the emotions that follow. It makes you feel alive. It's life! This is what I wanted to highlight: I see in "The 3 Energies" a generic application to all aspects of life - self development and lifestyle, a successful marriage, quality of family life, relationships with friends, being a useful member of society etc.

Here's how I picture it in my mind:

It's as if in our deepest self there is a lot of dirt and filth. Our character needs to be "molded", our personality sharpened and our values and perspectives deepened. It's a process; not everything can be improved at once. If all at once, we'd break down. Every so often someone comes along and stirs up a little dirt. If we deal with it, we become a tiny bit more "pure", even though we're hurt in the process. Afterwards we feel better, until someone else comes along and stirs up some more of that muck. Surprised again we confront our weaknesses and patch up once more. And so it goes on... That's life, isn't it? The good thing about it is a steep learning curve. In daily battles like this we grow to mature. I believe sales people are privileged. They can, with a little extra effort, acquire hands-on practice in some of life's most important and challenging areas.

Did you ever find that a client or partner gave you input on your product or service, and then when you come back to your peers, they have a hard time appreciating this feedback?

In other words, you had a brilliant conversation with a customer or partner and together you made some very important discoveries. However, when you try to convey the same message and feelings to your colleagues afterwards, it just seems to fall on stony ground. What's all this about?

Well, here's an area where I've grown to understand I have 99% questions and less than 1% insight and possible answers. That 1% may be some of the following (and then - please fill me in on your understanding, cause I'd really like to know):

In the minutes of a meeting you may be able to record pure information, but the "Energy" and real interactive understanding and feelings only remain with the people that were present. Ironically, this seems to be the makings of a dilemma that really hurts:

People that were in the meeting retain "90% of the feelings and only 10% of the information" (figuratively speaking). The people that were absent - if they read the meeting summary at all - will have less than 5% of its contents, which is 100% facts / information and 0% feelings (read: energy). I believe the lack of this "Energy" is the root to the problem of why companies fail to innovate in "the right areas" with "the highest speed".

Thus, my humble assertion is this: If you're a sales person wanting to return customer feedback - i.e. market innovation, i.e. thee best type of product development - back to the team that actually delivers what should be improved, your main mission must be to:

REKINDLE THE ENERGY FROM THAT MEETING!

How one should go about doing so is a very interesting topic, I think. (In fact the book I just spent 7 years writing is all about energy; passion - connection - innovation).

...but about the dilemma itself!! a lot of it remains a mystery AND frustration to me. Please help ;-)

The longer I'm in sales, the more I become convinced that "innovation" is its closest sibling (at least in bigger, complex sales). I'm guessing you probably have the same experience. I'd love to hear what you think about it!

Today I got involved in a discussion on LinkedIn that asked about - what was it again..? Let me find the link... here it is. The question was about how even the best products or services fail, i.e. a limited number of buyers will generate poor revenue. My input was basically that it's the business model that determines whether or not we succeed (referring to David Chesbrough's book "Open Innovation"). The business model powerfully affects company culture and EVERYTHING that has to do with Innovation. If you put a lid on innovation - in any shape or form - goodbye to sales success!

I've experienced this so many times. What connects us most as humans, is when we create something together. It doesn't have to be something tangible per se. The keyword is "create", which is something I call "the stuff between heads". So, the next time you're in a sales call with a client, a partner or even with someone you just need to convince about something... If you don't want to make things too complicated, maybe the best way to go about it is to simply abdicate the know-it-all-role and recognize; "maybe I don't have all the answers - in fact, maybe I hardly know anything?" The result... the other person(s) will rise to the occasion and start giving creative input, which otherwise would never have been the case, had you dictated the conversation and direction of the dialog. (Everybody knows this, I guess! BUT, to actually DO it is something quite different.)

Looking back on my childhood, my parents did a great job at this. Sometimes they would turn to us, and just ask a question - maybe to this effect: "How on earth are we going to do this..?" or "I've been thinking about this for such a long time. What do you think..?" And here's the thought I wanted to share: My mom and dad would be 100% sincere about it. They didn't feel they had an answer and thus truly believed that we could come up with something far better. And you know what? We did! They stretched us far beyond the capabilities and limits we thought we had. And then comes the real miracle and energy in this thing: As children we respect them so much more exactly because of this than we would had they simply told us what to do (...being "experts", which hardly generates the same kind of respect).

The ownership, commitment and enthusiasm that grows out of this is what selling is all about, I believe... It strengthens the SBP atmosphere. There's probably only one way; it needs to be sincere. What do you think? Would you agree? Maybe there's much more to it? In any case; in many ways my parents were the ones to teach me that the best answers are "between heads". They taught me innovation. They didn't say it - they lived it.

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People keep saying body language is so important.

Sure it is. In fact, it's pretty much everything! But follow this basic thinking - then tell me what you think... I believe it was Emerson who said (paraphrased) "I can't hear what you're saying because your actions scream too loud..." Even though it's a great quote, I still think it only brings us one step closer to the core of the matter. If what we do is in contradiction with what we say, our actions do undoubtedly speak louder than words. However, we have to dig deeper if we want to get to the real issue.

Let's consider a simple example to illustrate: Suppose we're in the store buying something to drink, e.g. orange juice. The packaging says "Orange Juice". Once we get home and open up the container, we pour ourselves something to drink. The color is, as we would expect, orange. The juice is nice and cold, but as we empty the glass we begin to realize that something is wrong. The drink, even though everything indicates orange juice, tastes apple juice. Someone tried to frame us - quite literally - our drink is apple juice, but artificial packaging and coloring initially made us believe we were getting something else.

Likewise, over time, truth will prevail! Deceitful marketing with words like "orange juice packaging" will eventually be found out and backfire. Even when we open up and look inside we may find body language like "orange juice color", but why sweat the "orange juice effort" when the taste will reveal apple juice regardless how much we try.

I'm so convinced; it's not what we say, neither is it what we do or "behave" that matters. It's what we have inside that comes through the "communicative cracks" and becomes the message. Even someone that "walks the talk" can be insincere and a knowing one.

Body language is not the object - it's not even the tool. Body language is the result of true feelings and perspectives we have inside. Over time, not even the best of actors can hide their deepest passions. Our true feelings will ultimately still shine through and become the essence of the message. I like to call it energy - communicative energy. And this is when the subject gets exciting; energy not only speaks the loudest of all - it's what we pass on to others - almost like an "apple odor" that others can enjoy (cf example above). In that case, we'd better make sure we share an "apple message" and not outdated "orange juice."

It's time to move beyond body language, folks! Don't you think..?