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Energy # 1: PassionThe energy in Passion is being unstoppable. Passion is the absolute first building block of any success. If you don't have it then either do what it takes to get it or make the needed adjustments to find it elsewhere. |
Energy # 2: ConnectionThe energy in Connection is succeeding together. Every successful person connects with people, sharing energy in such a way that whatever they do becomes desired and visible to their target audience. |
Energy # 3: IntuitionThe energy in Intuition is becoming naturally skilled. Only an expert in paying attention to timing, detail and perfection will reap the power of ecosystems. Intuition is the freedom "to let go" and stay open to outside impressions, both planning a tailored approach as well as spontaneously create in golden moments of time, adapting flexibly to circumstance. |
In short, success is any individual "unstoppable in succeeding skillfully with others by applying Passion , Connection and Intuition". That's it! Everything else is an extension to further explain what success means and how it is achieved.
These 3 Energies are 3E. It's -- Passion, Connection and Intuition -- that makes the difference. They're capitalized because to us (and everyone) these 3 energies are what makes or breaks success - in every aspect of our lives; family, personal, work, society... as well as every dimension; physical, social / emotional, spiritual and mental. It's what makes everyone, but more specifically, a sales person complete in his profession.
We looked at why sales training mostly fails to deliver promised results. Here's a webcast that explains it in plain words:
We say "influence is energy". What does that mean?
Just think about it. What is influence?
Is it what you say to another person? Is it what the other person hears you say - or thinks you say?
Of course that's influence, but are words all?
I'd agree if you responded: "No, influence is not words alone. There's much more."
Then what else is influence? Body language, smell, sound, temperature - everything that our senses pick up..? Yes, all of that. Is there more?
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Operational Influence
Oh yes, there is a lot more that influences us! MUCH more. What about internal conditions such as our self esteem and our heart? Self esteem and self worth is a powerful source of influence. Some claim thee most powerful. I don't know, but definitely crucial!
We could, however, flip the coin and consider external conditions such as myths, trends, cultures, family traditions and the laws and regulations of both our local community and national government as a whole? What about yesterday's events, the experiences and history we carry with us? Also, how important are predictions about the future and the authority of experts - or make believe capacities - to predict, prioritize and decide what's important and less important? What about physical limitations, the environment in which we live or the mind set of the people around us? What about the individual appetite or the collective craving for basic needs, or even fame and fortune for that matter? What about supply and demand, rumors, the media, branding, market positions, money, the financial market, "information" or everything the computer screen tells us in general? Do all these elements have an impact on our degree of influence?
They certainly do. All of these are highly influential factors. What we've listed so far is what we call Operational influence. Operational influence is the sum of all ramifications and circumstances in place, time and human mind set.
Everything we believe and perceive makes us "tick" a certain way. We act or react, but in total it's how we see ourselves (IDENTITY) in relation to the world (PURPOSE) that drives us. This passionate driving power therefore is what operates us and the world in which we live. It's everything around us, including ourselves and all that we have inside.
You say: Wow, that's pretty big! Yes, I'd say so too. But that's only one third of what influence is all about. There are two more important categories we need to be aware of. Together, these three form separate types of dialog.
Opinional Influence
What about the relative positions and power we have or think we may have, the knowledge we possess or wisdom we claim? Does our relationship with other people affect influence? Sure it does.
What about how others see us, our reputation and social expectations? Is there a connection between influence and how we behave in a social setting? Does our public record, informal or formal determine our power among others? How does the size of our network influence influence? What if we know some "important people in high places"? Does this leverage increased opportunity, and just how does it affect our execution of ideas and decisions? Does the way we execute in turn influence our degree of long term influence. We know it does. Our social behavior is critical to influential powers.
Let's turn it around: How do you think someone's prejudice, hurt, pain or simply bad mood affects our influence on them? And what about happiness, for that matter? All interaction is basically the exchange of opinions. Hence, this group of influence is called Opinional. Opinional influence is the sum of all feelings and emotions based on how we see ourselves, other people and the relationship we have with them. It is when heads are connected in such a way that we care more for others (SELFLESS) and the greatest value is found in simply listening (OBSERVANT).
These elements, too, are influence or sources to influence. Some people believe people are the ultimate source of influence. They're right about people being absolutely essential. What they forget, is that this is still only the second one third of what influence is all about. This type of influence deals with the human minds and how we are connected, how we exchange information and share lives and feelings. It's about experiences and retaining them as precious memories. It's about all those emotions that create a bond so foundational to how we pick up signals from each other.
Optimal Influence
What about the way we phrase a message? Is that relevant to influence? Or, what about the way we behave a message? Is behavior influence? I guess most of us have heard the statistics about how much more important body language is than words.
What about skills in asking questions? Does a talent in diplomatic ability help? What is the signal between the lines? Is there a message between the lines? If there is, how important is that message and what is it that brings it across? What place does enthusiasm have in persuasion? Is there a link between for instance the attitude with which something is communicated and the subconscious mind of the listener - how it is received, perceived and processed?
Are minor details and technicalities important to the final outcome of someone's decision? Can we exercise effective influence without doing things correctly in the eyes of another?
How does another person gain ownership to what we present them with? Should they be allowed the freedom to comment, critique or change our original proposals? What does this have to do with influence, anyway? If freedom is important, does that mean there's an element of innovation in selling? Should we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and humble in approaching another person? Why would this be significant when influencing others? What if the other person discovered we don't have all the answers? Is that influence, too, and is it smart?
A lot of the questions in this text are obviously leading and not a good example of how questions should be used in an Optimal dialog. However, I've written them to illustrate how questions quickly can become a manipulative tool. What does manipulation do with us, for that matter? Do we appreciate it? Does manipulation affect the power balance and influence? Research provides some brilliant answers and insight into this subject, but which we won't discuss here.
Perfecting our language, tactics and skills is the third and final group of elements behind influence. Since they are about optimizing our behavior and "appearance" through close interaction, this category is called Optimal. Optimal influence is the sum of all signals that peaks in desired action through another person based on discovery and conviction. It is when both parties totally abdicate their ego (OBJECTIVE) and render themselves open to intuitively discover what's better (SEEKING).
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One Word to Summarize All
Each of these groups of influence builds on each other, as the diagram above illustrates. However, one is more important and foundational than the other. First comes Operational. Once the Operational influence or dialog is in place Opinional influence begins to have a powerful effect. Without the Operational dialog in place, the Opininal dialog is less effective, but still has some power. When Operational and Opinional are working as they should then Optimal influence and dialog begins to work as it should. This leads to energation.
Now, let me give you a challenge: If you were to pick one word only to describe all of this, what would it be?
Energy?!
That's what we chose! Read again and I believe you'll see why...
That's why we say "influence is energy". Yes, I believe influence is ALL about energy!
You want to know what really makes you a top performing convincing communicator and sales person. Here's the answer you've been looking for, and it applies to both you individually and every team or organization you're a part of:You need to answer the WHAT questions!
Research indicates that it takes *** the best companies *** seven years to find their identity in the market place. Now, we're talking about high performance successful companies. Mediocre companies and organizations never do. That's why they are mediocre. The subject at hand is the paramount question of - WHAT - that makes all the difference:
- What are we about? What is our place and position? What is our purpose and mission?
- What is our unique offering to the market place? What problems do we help solve? What solutions do we offer?
Even though the "what questions" quickly lead to WHO and HOW, the process is like a spiral staircase, continually revisiting WHAT until it falls into place. And just when does WHAT fall into place?
Because of its spiral movement, WHAT can always be answered a little better. WHAT is a question that constantly needs to be addressed. The process of answering WHAT is the essence of the Operational dialog, an ongoing conversation on all levels that at any point in time always determines the value of an individual or company. When a company is providing "what answers" that the market place is willing to pay for, it increases in value. When it doesn't reply appropriately to WHAT, company value decreases.
The stock price is an example of a "what indicator", but merely indirectly so. The share value of a company, even though the world of finance claims it to always be immediate and an instantly "updated" reflection of value, it always will remain a rather sluggish - lagging behind - indicator of WHAT; how the Operational dialog is working. If WHAT is addressed we begin to OPERATE with value.
Thus, the question becomes: How good are we as individuals or as a company to constantly engage in the Operational dialog. When we are, a clear WHAT is always in front of us and we have purpose and direction. If the Operational dialog dies or becomes unfocused, we immediately lose sight of our WHAT and everything else is affected and begins to crumble.
The Operational dialog is the foundation, but only the first of three important dialogs which make up successful people and organizations:
Our research indicates that sales people and sales teams are only as good as they are able to answer WHAT - both for themselves internally and consequently externally to and with others. Only then will everything else fall into place. WHAT reflects our identity and is the source of all behavior patterns. It communicates:
- "I have a product and/or service that you need"
- "I'm a part of X (e.g. a company) and I have meaning and a powerful purpose driving me"
- ...or simply: "What I'm currently doing is important because X"
Only when WHAT has been identified will individuals and organizations operate effectively. Not only will operations be effective and with clear cut purpose, but it will also be automatize what currently is not working as it should. Inner conviction shines through and will permeate every action and make it more effective.
So what?
What does this mean to me or to our company? What actions can we take to apply it?
Answer WHAT once again today! I suggest we make it a habit and lifestyle to always identify WHAT and constantly revisit this basic question. When we do, we should remember to highlight honesty and respect, because these are the key characteristics that help us map out what we're looking for. Without honesty and respect, we'll only end up fooling ourselves, keeping us from finding the "right" answers.
But you say: The task is so unclear!!? Here's how you know whether or not you're getting close to the answer:
When the Operational dialog is as it should Passion begins to flow through your entire system. Passion is that number one energy most needed of all and is the source of a winning and unstoppable attitude. Passion cannot be defeated. Passion is what permeates a successful system - whether it be a single person, a team or an organization. Passion is the first energy, paving the path to another two powerful energies.
To view an online media presentation on this subject, click here.
Like most people, you too have probably experienced moments of bliss when communication was just perfect. You felt at one with life and everything around you!
The past seven years we've been searching for what it is that makes such a "fusion" occur, especially within sales and in a business setting. We wanted to reach higher - for something much better than what we see in the business world today.
However short these glimpses of insight may be, they're real and filled with such good and powerful feelings that there are hundreds of descriptions to be found about them: Some describe it as "butterflies of joy", "ecstatic and rare excitement", "a magical flow of ideas", "pure conviction" and others simply as "quiet moments of tranquility and peace". Over the years our research team has chosen a descriptive term that embraces and captures the entire scope of it: Energation!
“To closely interact through passion, connection and intuition, reaching understanding and commitment beyond natural ability.”
There's a lot to be said about energation. In fact, it's such a huge topic I wrote a book about it. The common denominator, however, is dialog. Whether it be internal dialog through self reflection during a private moment or an excellent conversation with another person, there is always some kind of interaction and thinking activity that precedes energation. In all simplicity we've found that it's a process of exchanging energy in combination with communication. If we merge "energy" with "communication" we get "energation".
That said, energation is a shared state of mind and a mutual experience that is sometimes hard to describe. Thus we get all the differing explanations and descriptions of feelings and sensations. Still, when it occurs both parties can instantly recognize it. It's in the air. Our research has revealed three layers of energy. In our experience, energation occurs most often when all three are flowing: PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION (and in this sequence).
One Energy per Dialog
Each of these energies is a direct result of a specific type of dialog. PASSION grows out of the Operational dialog. CONNECTION grows out of the Opinional dialog and INTUITION grows out of the Optimal dialog. During the next few weeks I'll be sharing what each dialog is about. Stay tuned for more ;-)
Key Principles of Energation
Three key principles characterize energation.
# 1 - AVAILABLE TO ALL
Maybe the most exciting characteristic of energation is how it's completely independent from physical condition and social state. We may be rich or poor, male or female, old or young, in prison or out in the free, in war or in peace, hungry or filled up, cold or hot, sick or healthy. Regardless of circumstances, it's seems to be equally available to all. Energation is pretty much synonymous with happiness, but not the kind of shallow happiness we think of "on a daily basis". Energation is the perfect balance of outbound and inbound energy.
# 2 - PROACTIVE STEPS MAY INCREASE FREQUENCY
By engaging ourselves in Operational, Opinional and Optimal dialogs we begin to balance the 3 Energies behind effective communication - PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION. These dialogs are so closely linked to their respective energies, our focus should not be on the energy itself, but rather on mastering the dialogs - then energy follows as a direct result. Energation may occur, but not per se.
# 3 - REMAINS OUTSIDE PERSONAL CONTROL
Even though much can be done to stimulate energation, it remains out of our direct control. Whereas it will not occur without our consistent effort, it cannot be forced or manipulated. This does not mean it cannot be facilitated, rather it means we only have indirect control. Skilled communicators know how to create the atmosphere needed for energation to enter the scene.
Even though energation does not always work the way we would like it to, communication is always at its best when we tap into Passion, Connection and Intuition.
Why do we seek this unique kind of shared experience? Because energation is the ultimate way to foster enduring commitment in others. Energation has a lasting effect beyond any other way we know of. It motivates unlike any other element in human interaction. Energation is influence in the keenest sense of the word. It helps the people around us become self powered - gives them perspective - it ignites their character!
Being on the same wavelength is what energation is truly all about.
Let me assure you: Skilled communicators tap into energation all the time. It just hasn't been explained like this before. Not only does it help win the business. Energation makes selling a worthwhile and mutually uplifting experience. This is what you've been looking for. This is what you want!
(Read more about energation in the 3E members area - a sneak peak before release end of Oct 2008.)
In almost all sales literature you'll find clever advice about sales processes, techniques, models, structures, systems, programs and blueprints. The remainder of sales literature aims at human traits such as PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), enthusiasm, networking, values, politics, win-win and the like. Thus, in short, we find two categories:
- Methods and
- what I like to call "Effort and Talent"
As important as these two categories may be, the key to leveraging great performance - I mean SERIOUSLY outstanding and UNSTOPPABLE performance - lies in reality elsewhere. Where do you think unbelievable results come from?
Beyond Method, Talent and Effort
Introducing the subject in this way also reveals a most interesting aspect; each one of us intuitively and instinctively already knows, but it seems hard to put into words, and even harder to implement in the corporate world. Deep inside we know it's not method - methods are important, but not the ultimate and deciding factor. We even know it's not effort and talent, because they too are often waisted and held back. It's something else. What would you say it is?
Just think about it... Of course we need method - method is crucial. We also need effort and talent. Effort and talent are not only necessary, they're foundational. But... and this is my point; there's something way more important and significant lying underneath that determines whether or not someone succeeds beyond normal..! (Remember, we're not just talking about success. We're discussing unusual and remarkable success.)
Before I give you this pearl - this diamond of unique and simple value - I need to emphasize one crucial point, to help understand why this is so valuable, not only in today's business world, but also in every other setting; marriage, family, politics and every type of human interaction. What we see is this:
Whether a book or training event focuses on method, effort or talent, in reality it makes no real difference on performance. Good stuff finds good people anyway. In the end, real improvement in "average people" stems from another source altogether!
Influence is Energy
The One-on-One slogan "Influence is Energy" summarizes all there is to say about what really makes the difference. I've seen people be trained in the most extensive and excellent research-based programs and models, supported by management, economic as well as human resources, enticed by incentive programs and backed by values and follow up coaching. Does it ring a bell? Regardless of how much method, effort and talent an organization has or puts in, no TIPPING-POINT RESULTS will come unless something triggers individual energy.
Amazing success is born - first and foremost - when you IGNITE CHARACTER. A truly dedicated individual is not able to not influence others. Therefore, there simply is no such thing as the one and only perfect salesperson, because every one of us has the built-in capacity to influence others in our own unique way. We each have peak performance when intuition permeates our burning desire and every-day actions. That does not mean that methods, effort and talents are without effect. They are indeed the muscles and tools of success, but even muscles and tools are no good without a beating heart and the blood to provide the needed oxygen.
Apply individual energy to method, effort and talent and you've got a combination that works. Energy, however, is too often missing - in fact, almost always missing - and it's only haphazardly found even among high performers.
- Why do methods not work on a stand-alone basis? Because without unleashing individual power, methods tend to restrain rather than free influential ability.
- Why does effort and talent not work on a stand-alone basis? Because without the engine itself to wake them up, effort and even talent merely remain "mis employed tools" without purpose.
First release energy, then apply method, effort and talent!
During the past 7 years we've discovered a set of principles that trigger energy in individuals and organizations making them influential through empowering character. It's not quick fix, but it's a LOT quicker than "quick fix", because quick fix only has a short term effect and no real bearing on true and lasting success!
We've looked at "when a message has power" as well as "when training works". Suppose you've got them both in place. Now the question remains: How can we increase or maintain our power of influence?
Influence was never static. It's always fluctuating - up or down. If we're not taking action to increase our degree of influence, then it automatically decreases. Here's the fact: Most people give little thought to whether what they are doing increases or decreases their level of influence with others. Had they been trained in basic principles of influence, they would have experienced dramatic improvement in being able to reach and convince others.
A good example of such principles is found for instance in Dr Stephen R. Covey's instructions where among other things he talks about "The Emotional Bank Account". The principles are simple and above all practical and easy to apply on a day-to-day basis (listed here). Influence is action. It is doing! This is at the heart of the matter - we either add or subtract influential power - through every single action we take in relation to others. Action is where it's found. Good action increases influence. Poor action or no action decreases influence.
The 3 Energies behind every form of influence are Passion, Connection and Intuition. These three cover the entire spectrum of influence. Whereas Dr Covey's example only covers one of them with the concept of the Emotional Bank Account, all influence stems from these 3 Energies.
From a birds eye view and higher perspective influence is energy. Therefore, the more energy we pass on the greater the influence we will have. Being an energy carrier and energy transmitter makes all the difference. Energy and influence travels upward in a spiral staircase through three basic questions - so basic it's almost hard to grasp:
- What am I trying to achieve?
- Who can help me accomplish it?
- How will I stimulate them to pull the load with me?
These three - and in this order - WHAT, WHO and HOW and our ability to answer them are what decides our persuasive abilities.
- WHAT relates to our identity. It reveals who we are and what we are about. For instance, research shows how every successful company on average takes seven years to answer this first question.
- The question of WHO guides us in which people that matter most. Everyone is unique and has equal value, but when seeking to accomplish specific goals and objectives some people are worth spending more time and effort with than others.
- Asking HOW confronts us with the need to become specific as well as accept that others may know more than we do.
The WHAT, WHO and HOW apply to every aspect of life; personal, organizational, family, politics etc. Only people who know WHAT can be truly effective in answering WHO. Only people who know WHO can be truly effective in answering HOW. Only people who know HOW revisit WHAT with real insight. Constantly working up the spiral in this way is the essence of influence. All else is a subspecies or lesser variety thereof.
The first energy, PASSION, comes from answering the first question of WHAT. The second energy, CONNECTION, comes from answering WHO. The third energy, INTUITION, is triggered by HOW. Energy and influence comes through interactive reflection on the most basic questions we can ask. This is why basic is and always will remain most powerful.
Summing up: Influence is hard work, but most of the influential powers we have are generated much earlier in the process than what people may think. When you call someone, speak with someone or write something 80% or more of the influence you have in the moment comes from preliminary effort - not what causes your current perspiration. Work today to influence tomorrow!
I've done a LOT of sales training since my last post, and (unfortunately) a lot of traveling. As always, it has been a fantastic experience. Remember how I said last time: A student only benefits from training programs when they include the heart in the learning process. A trainer can "pound" on the door of the heart, but to actually open it is left to each candidate individually. (Selling is ultimately the same way.)
These past weeks I've again contemplated the power of this principle, and I just want to point out; there are only two types of candidates attending training out there:
- They who take it to heart and experience the first amplifier (heart explosion)
- They who will not include emotions and feelings and never gain the slightest bit of learning (only superfluously)
Note! A student can only experience "heart explosion" if the trainer possesses the quality of bringing the message to the heart in the first place. My claim is - very few trainers do!
Last time I promised to share the next two amplifiers following the first. I'll keep it short - that's somehow the beauty of this:
Influence is energy. If we want to reach another person with our message, we need power, and that power is nothing but energy! What is the very core of how a message becomes powerful? Did you ever think about that? Here's what we've found is the answer to this important question: "It's when we run it through the three amplifiers most easily available in one-on-one communication":
- The first amplifier is the heart (Energy # 1: PASSION). I.e. when the message passes through the heart it explodes and immediately (yes, automatically) flows out to hands and feet. We see immediate action. Ask yourself whether or not you've caused the first amplifier in someone else. Here's an easy test to evaluate how it went: Did they act immediately on what you presented them with? Did they become unstoppable? If not, then your message never made it to the first amplification
The 3E symbol for PASSION is the heart.
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- The second amplifier is from heart to heart (Energy # 2: CONNECTION). This amplifier is the need we have to share from the heart how the heart explosion felt and what mental images caused it to take place. This sounds almost religious, and I admit it almost is. However, just think of it this way: The best way to test whether or not something really has been learned is if we're able to teach others the same. When this is done, not only is the learning curve extended, but the subject and material becomes ours. Ours to keep forever.
The 3E symbol for CONNECTION is a battery.
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- The third amplifier is when we include intuition (Energy # 3: INTUITION). When we begin to apply adopted material in our own way, i.e. we incorporate principles and adapt skills to our own style and individual talent. In doing so, we stay open to inside and outside impressions and promptings.
The 3E symbol for INTUITION is a bolt of lightning.
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Once we deeply study these three amplifiers - each one a direct result from each of the respective "3 Energies" - we'll discover how our message both penetrates AND causes permanent change in others. THIS is what selling (and training) is all about.
Next time you attend (sales) training, try to keep in mind the following: Training very seldom has changing and lasting effect!
Coming from a trainer, this may sound disillusional. However, an effective trainer isn't truly familiar with how instruction works until he or she has seriously been engaged in evaluation of results. Every public speaker or instructor should be brought to witness his or her actual degree of influence. If this was done properly I believe the majority of us would be shocked and greatly disappointed. Research also indicates that most training not even remotely makes a significant difference in behavior over time. More importantly, a thorough understanding of better influence would lead to a) less monologue and entertainment and b) increase the level of interaction and dialog to reach involvement and effort.
Having been involved in training since 1992, I've at least learned two MAJOR lessons, summed up in one: 1) Learning takes place from the inside, and 2) energy is the primary source of change. A good mental picture to illustrate what happens when change takes place is this:
The above illustration serves to underscore how the heart is "the first amplifier of energy". We're looking at energy explosion! (In my next post I'll share more about the other two amplifiers following immediately after.)
Any principle can be understood intellectually, but still have little bearing on real life application. If a person is to be effectively educated reflection needs to pass through the heart of the individual. In the very moment the heart is included, it will automatically and instantly flow or "shoot" to the hands and feet. It is this spontaneous reaction that represents the first crucial step in changing behavior. For it to become a habit, consistent effort is also needed.
Acquiring skills in influencing others is enormously rewarding, but it does require the heart. The heart, though painful it may be, is not included unless someone or something triggers emotions and feelings. For this reason, the real question is how to generate, pass on and harness energy.
In this sense, training and selling are completely one and the same. This is why any teacher, speaker and instructor would benefit greatly from basic sales training. Yes, teaching is selling - both are aiming to influence. Influence is all about energy.
To see a webcast on this subject click here.
All of us are into manipulation to some degree, especially when we run out of options to persuade others.
You may be thinking: "I'm not!" Yes, unfortunately you are, too. Every day! We even do it without knowing. Here's what happens and why.
Every day we encounter something we really want. It could be food, recognition, love, you name it – any unmet need out there, small or great. When we're in a situation where we feel we REALLY need something our brain begins to look for ways to reach our objectives. Or to phrase it simpler; when we want something we automatically look for ways to get it.
This drive to satisfy constant needs is so powerful, it takes place mostly in our subconscious mind. Thus, without knowing it, what we do from minute to minute is inspired by wanting something. (You may say: "I just want others to be happy". That too is wanting something.) Ironically, almost every little need involves people around us, in some way or another. Most of our needs are in fact met through interaction with others, i.e. a great deal of persuasive effort on our part takes place without us even being aware of it. We're actually engaged in selling or negotiating activity the majority of our waking hours, but we don't think of it that way, because we're not aware.
The tricky thing is, the more we want something the more emotional we tend to get. Emotions and feelings are by nature counterproductive to logical thinking. Feelings alone can cloud our reasoning and limits our ability to rationally interact with others. Feelings without logic represents an imbalance. Therefore, it is the ability to sense and truly understand the needs of others that tips the lever back in balance. When we see the world from the outside, we enable ourselves to return to logic, or rather to include logic. To be in balance we need both feelings and logic – emotions and awareness – a constant view of the inside and the outside. This is how our brain actually works. It has these two sides, but mastering both certainly isn't easy. Truly effective (PERSUASIVE) people apply brainpower to balance feelings and emotions (ENERGY) with logic and awareness (SENSITIVITY).
So why do we turn to manipulation?
Manipulation easily occurs when there's an imbalance between what we feel and what we perceive. For example, when we want something and only perceive a limited number of ways to get it, we sometimes allow our "overwhelming" feelings to overrule logical thinking. Even though we know it's wrong (our inner compass tells us so) we are convinced by the imbalance of emotions and awareness to justify cheating. Cheating could for instance be plain lying, withholding facts, raising our voice, tricking someone or putting on some kind of act etc. The ways in which we can cheat is an endless list.
How can we become a Principal of Clean Influence (PCI)?
The question is a big one, and the answer consequently important. I believe mastering "clean persuasion" – i.e. not manipulative – is a lifelong process. In fact, I believe it is life itself. Just think of it: What is the main concern of a dying man? In essence he returns to the naked baby he was when he entered life. His concern is what he leaves behind and what he brings along; both the right brain – love and emotions and the left brain – knowledge and awareness. What is the only thing that matters, the only thing that lasts, the only thing that makes a difference? It is that which guides and develops our persuasive abilities – how we channel energy in our loving and learning.

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