I've done a LOT of sales training since my last post, and (unfortunately) a lot of traveling. As always, it has been a fantastic experience. Remember how I said last time: A student only benefits from training programs when they include the heart in the learning process. A trainer can "pound" on the door of the heart, but to actually open it is left to each candidate individually. (Selling is ultimately the same way.)

These past weeks I've again contemplated the power of this principle, and I just want to point out; there are only two types of candidates attending training out there:

1. They who take it to heart and experience the first amplifier (heart explosion)
2. They who will not include emotions and feelings and never gain the slightest bit of learning (only superfluously)

Note! A student can only experience "heart explosion" if the trainer possesses the quality of bringing the message to the heart in the first place. My claim is - very few trainers do!

Last time I promised to share the next two amplifiers following the first. I'll keep it short - that's somehow the beauty of this:

Influence is energy. If we want to reach another person with our message, we need power, and that power is nothing but energy! What is the very core of how a message becomes powerful? Did you ever think about that? Here's what we've found is the answer to this important question: "It's when we run it through the three amplifiers most easily available in one-on-one communication":

• The first amplifier is the heart (Energy # 1: PASSION). I.e. when the message passes through the heart it explodes and immediately (yes, automatically) flows out to hands and feet. We see immediate action. Ask yourself whether or not you've caused the first amplifier in someone else. Here's an easy test to evaluate how it went: Did they act immediately on what you presented them with? Did they become unstoppable? If not, then your message never made it to the first amplification

The 3E symbol for PASSION is the heart.

• The second amplifier is from heart to heart (Energy # 2: CONNECTION). This amplifier is the need we have to share from the heart how the heart explosion felt and what mental images caused it to take place. This sounds almost religious, and I admit it almost is. However, just think of it this way: The best way to test whether or not something really has been learned is if we're able to teach others the same. When this is done, not only is the learning curve extended, but the subject and material becomes ours. Ours to keep forever.

The 3E symbol for CONNECTION is a battery.

• The third amplifier is when we include intuition (Energy # 3: INTUITION). When we begin to apply adopted material in our own way, i.e. we incorporate principles and adapt skills to our own style and individual talent. In doing so, we stay open to inside and outside impressions and promptings.

The 3E symbol for INTUITION is a bolt of lightning.

Once we deeply study these three amplifiers - each one a direct result from each of the respective "3 Energies" - we'll discover how our message both penetrates AND causes permanent change in others. THIS is what selling (and training) is all about.

I was speaking with my daughter the other day about how our thoughts automatically appear in our face. When we think good thoughts a pleasant and happy appearance naturally surfaces. If we think bad thoughts, they too are mirrored in our countenance. You may think it's "childish doctrine", but it's simple and a plain fact.

This basic principle holds true and carries weight and value in so many settings - one of which is communication. When we are sincere, it shows in our face. When we have passion, it reveals itself. When we get emotional, is shines through. What a great human trait this is. We can read each other in many ways, but most of all in our facial expressions, and above all by looking each other in the eye. It's as if the eyes are the soul at public display. Ouff! Great and dreadful, all at once. Scary in one way, because it exposes us as to who we really are. Exciting in that we can "read" and learn the true character of others.

I love the exercise of just observing other people during conversations - not too intensely, because that easily creates awkward feelings - but being very aware of the way we reveal ourselves through that most unique window - our eyes - to the outside world.

Consistent behavior over time will reveal our thoughts, our words, our action, our habits - our lifestyle. Everything is recorded and shows over time. Today, when you're interacting with others, try to perceive what maybe slipped your observations in the past. Look people in the eye. You'll see who they really are, because the eyes have it, and the eyes are what makes all the difference.

Do we have trouble looking people straight in the eye?

A number of years ago I was in charge of selling a major IT solution to an important account. Every person involved on the customer side was in favor of our solution. Even board members were completely sold on what we had to offer. When the decision was to be made I was surprised by a new-hire that was assigned the role of decision maker. His mission and purpose was to make sure everyone could feel his power and authority. As a result his best option was to oppose what everyone wanted and opt for a competing solution. Reason and logic was thrown out the window. The chosen solution became a tool to reach other objectives than what the solution was meant to do for the organization. From this I learned an important lesson:

The decision maker is king and ultimately the only person whose feelings really matter. However, every so often the decision maker is not the one with the strongest energy tied to the final outcome. If we want to win business we need to know who has the most feelings tied to what is going to happen as a result of what we offer. This will point out which one of the stakeholders is most effective in affecting the outcome.

Even the most complex sales are about the feelings of the individual. Every decision is the sum of all feelings in an account. All people with influence on the end result will have a private agenda. That private agenda is subjective, and the subjective view of each person is tied to feelings. Let no one tell you anything else. If every person that's involved in the decision feels good about what you're proposing, then you can forget about the rational and objective reasons working against you.

Feelings always precede commitment. In complex sales every contract is the result of a shared commitment signed by the decision maker. To get to this commitment one type of balance is critical, and it's a balance that is superior to everything we do in sales - always - the balance of sensitivity and energy.

Sensitivity is 50% of who we are in communication. It's about being aware of energy. It's about being a receiver of energy. It's the filter through which we pick up and perceive information.

Energy is the other 50% of who we are in communication. It's about needing and looking for sensitivity. It's about finding a receiver of energy. It's information and the driver of information itself that always penetrates depending on the sensitivity of the receiver.

We need both. How these need to be balanced is what I'll share next time ;-)

The highest level and strongest way in which we tie someone to a promise is Emotional Commitment (EC), the result of energation. Most of the time, people instantly think they understand and therefore perceive this as being "fairly straightforward", and I wish it would be! However, to get this kind of dedicated promise from someone we need to understand energation - the means by which we reach this level of dedication in others.

Emotional Commitment (EC) doesn't just happen by chance - it needs energation as its "engine" to drive it forward. Energation itself hinges on two basic capacities:

1. Sensitivity
2. Energy

To be specific, this means:

1. how sensitive we are a) to self, b) to others and c) to external impressions
2. the energy driving a) our behaviour, b) our relationships and c) revealed problem solving

When sensitivity and energy are balanced we move communication in the direction of energation, or rather, we "energate". This means we move the dialog, balancing energy and sensitivity, in a growing degree of mutual dedication through three levels:

The first level of (customer) dedication is the Born Buying Desire (BBD). The second level of (customer) dedication is the Subjective Linkage (SL). The third level of (customer) dedication is the Emotional Commitment (EC).

Today I'd like to share a quick story to illustrate how BBD and SL precede Emotional Commitment (EC), which is the third and crowning fruit of energation:

I was once involved in providing a major ERP solution to an industrial corporation. They had accepted my invitation to come visit and present what we had to offer (a BBD had been triggered). As the meeting progressed we began to discuss and share how several of the key people in the project were heavily affected by weaknesses in the current information systems. They spent way too much time at the office and were unable to put work behind them when they came home. Their family life was suffering and many other personal matters were also put out in the open (SL was beginning to take effect). At this point we moved into a discussion of how the new solutions should be applied to solve these problems. A stack of suggestions triggered new thinking and ideas from the client that even I had never thought about or seen as possible. These discoveries on the client side caused ownership to grow minute by minute. At the end I was asked to fulfill a number of commitments and any action I needed from them was eagerly accepted. It had become their project and in their interest more than mine (EC).

The Emotional Commitment is where follow up is turned around. Before we get to follow up the customer by the specified deadlines, the customer calls us to make sure we're doing what we're supposed to, making sure we stay on a steady course to contract and delivery. This is what we want! It's commitment on an emotional level.

Finally, a warning. Whenever energy and sensitivity is not balanced, i.e. when either energy or sensitivity is too high or too low, negative energy immediately surfaces. The outward expression or evidence of this is some kind of rejection - what I call "malfunctioning dialog". For a visual illustration of this absolutely critical balance see the diagram below, taken from "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success".

If you make a quick search on the web, you'll find a bunch of definitions on "sales success". It seems to me as though a lot of people are making good money on telling others what success is and how it can be achieved. This gives you every right to be suspicious of 3E, too, thinking: "One-on-One and 3E is just another stunt like that. When you've seen one you've seen 'em all."

BUT, there's no need to be. I feel it's time to give every reader a clear message about what we're about (in bold print below) - once and for all:

I believe business is only one - and not the most important - of several arenas where we encounter challenges that can only be solved through effective communication. To make the biggest and most important difference we need to master the most challenging of all arenas first: THE FAMILY

It is one thing to help solve problems in an objective non-emotional role somewhere in society. It is quite another to be part of the problem, deeply drenched in emotions and having to conquer your ego, pride and craving for honor inside the walls of your own home. The latter is by far much more demanding, where the real you is exposed and where we really change the world. What if every father and mother, brother and sister could realize this? I believe that is the first step on the way to every worthwhile goal, such as inner peace, world peace - every possible conflict we are faced with today and so on.

One-on-One and 3E has as its main purpose:

1. to discover with others
2. thee most powerful way to communicate
3. to obtain mutual understanding
4. on every arena

The business perspective, as such, is merely a tool to illustrate, test and prove that 3E is on the way to becoming the fulfillment of this mission. During the seven years I've been working with this in mind we've discovered groundbreaking principles coming from successful selling. I mentioned earlier how we're ready to launch Energation. The definition of Energation sums up everything in one sentence. This is what "The 3 Energies" is all about - a full explanation of Energation.

And then - to make a full circle - I have all that I need. When you buy the book you will not support my wallet nor the financial success of a few single individuals, but the research and effort we're putting in to make Energation a new world phenomenon.

I'm hardly able to express how great it feels to "have mother nature on our side" when selling (see blog post 21st of Dec). It's possible, just like a sailboat, to maneuver by such means that the wind is always blowing our way. Want to know how?

As I've been in sales for a long time, I believe I've gone through most of the pains with regards to rejection. I've been selling on the door, on the street, on the phone, at stands, in meetings and in public seminars and keynote sessions for almost 20 years now. Whichever way you view it, of course rejection hurts!   It just so happens I've been in the lucky position to choose to be in sales. I could've gone in a completely different direction, but I've chosen sales assignments simply because I feel a strong desire to master "the people game" and most of all because I have a higher purpose with what I do. Can you think of anything more complex and challenging than to communicate effectively with people who have every reason not to listen? (Maybe you can, but I particularly enjoy this challenge.)

When we talk about rejection, most advisers in sales will talk about perseverance, patience, hard work, resolving concerns, self esteem and/or goal setting. Sometimes they'll point out that it's not personal and rejection should be received in the same impersonal way. That's probably all good, but again, even though these are important - in sum - what matters is energy. Let me explain:

Every form of rejection is by nature negative energy. Negative energy simply doesn't feel good. It gives us a sense of discomfort and tries to penetrate and produce emotions of pain or being unwanted. What we need to understand is; there's always something in combination with perception that triggers that negative energy. The tricky thing is - most of us don't have the eyes to see what or how, and when we don't our natural response is to block out this undesired response. Ironically, this only increases negative energy AND keeps us from discovering what caused it, or rather, what the source behind it was.

Together with my peers and research associates I've discovered there's a better way.   There are several reasons for rejection - and I don't claim to know them all - but here's the biggest one we've found so far: When someone decides they disagree with or dislike what we propose, negative energy is generated from either one, two or three energy channels - the Operational dialog, the Opinional dialog and/or the Optimal dialog. Each of these dialogs are at least 90% unspoken energy, i.e. words are but "30% of 300% communication". When each of these dialogs are done well AND in sync, our statistics indicate a success rate that equals 5 out of 6, i.e. 83%. For example, when doing so-called "cold calls" you will succeed pretty much "every time". Please allow me to say it again: That feels very good!

The fact that it feels good shows you it's personal. It's evidence that it is. Don't let anyone tell you business is not personal. If you're really in sales you know what rejection feels like. If you're really in sales the dislike for rejection is in your system. If you're really in sales you'll want to know how this is possible!

External conditions have little to do with sales success! Let's consider how.

The concept of "energy" may sound strange to those not used to the terminology, but it's really quite normal. Let me illustrate with a personal experience that might shed some light and insight on the subject.

Here in Skien we actually have the world's largest Nanbudo club. I think that's pretty amazing, considering it's a small and insignificant town in Norway. That said, a few years ago my kids wanted to join and as I came along watching them do their "Japanese rituals" every week, I soon found myself thinking I could need the exercise myself. Not long after I was in the dojo with a bunch of like minded beginners.

I have to admit. A whole new world has opened up to me (I'm still there - going for the black belt ;-). The focus on energy through breathing exercises, the gymnastics and art of moving combined with constant stretching and kata "dancing" completely gets me. I love this stuff! I'll never be the fighting type of guy, even though now I do actually know a thing or two about self defense.

					You're thinking: This is a blog on influence, sales and communication... What's he on about?! Well, now that I'm learning more about the Japanese culture let's apply an appropriate fighting principle from the Samurai bushido: When a Samurai faces an opponent he (or she) will always try to have the sun or moon behind them. In

this way they will not be distracted in any way and clearly see their opponent at any possible moment. Most importantly, the eyesight of the enemy may suffer and leave them distracted and vulnerable.

Elite sales people apply similar principles. They seem to bring every "force of nature" their way. How? OK, this is when I easily get carried away by talking about my book, but to be short and to the point: Over the past seven years we've mapped out three dialogs that each have the same effect. Especially the first dialog - the Operational - reveals how successful selling is about fighting with "mother nature on our side", regardless of what weather conditions we're faced with.

When releasing the 3 Energies on Thursday end of October next year we're finally and officially launching the concept of "energation", too. It's something I've been looking forward to for a very long time.

From a simplified perspective energation is the combination of communication and energy - almost "energetic communication", if you will. But it's so much more than this. Research preceding this new word has suggested the following official definition - and it's taken 4 years to agree on this very "pregnant" summary:

To interact closely through passion, connection and innovation, reaching understanding and commitment beyond natural ability.

Of course it's hard to explain the full meaning of energation in a brief blog post like this, but here's what I'd like to point out as a bare minimum; energation reaches others on a higher level. (In fact, on a "third level", but that's an entirely different discussion). Energation makes it possible "to be sold" in stead of having to sell. How would you like to position yourself by communicating in such a way that your customer is asking for your help? This is the essence of energation. It leverages three specific fruits:

• Born Buying Desire (BBD)
• Subjective Linkage (SL)
• Emotional Commitment (EC)

I'll have to say more about these three elements at a later stage, I guess. The main thing is; in sum energation results in three fruits representing the solution to "all" those typical problems sales people so often struggle with today; finding new prospects, spending time and strength on the right opportunities, too long sales cycles because their unable to close the business, quote and win stretch business*, accurate predictions about pipeline probability and building faithful client relationships, to just name a very few.

Can you see why I'm so excited about finally getting the 3 Energies to market?! There's so much in basic core sales that needs solid clarification. Now it's all coming folks ;-)

* Contracts of significantly bigger size than what has been closed in the past.

Do you ever find that some people are hard to connect with? Sure you do. Everybody does!

Most of us are sensitive in this respect. If there's someone we don't get along with, even though we might not admit to it, we spend a lot of our strength on trying to figure out why.

If your relationship with another person is "in minus", it doesn't really matter what you say - any statement will be perceived negatively by default. Why? Because communication is a function of feelings. That's what I mean by the word 'connection'. Thus, the number one thing to do, regardless of what the circumstances might be, is to approach the challenge from the angle of feelings, and not with words. It's how people feel about each other that carries all communicates between them. In other words, what we say is colored and influenced through an "emotional filter".

When it comes to customers, clients and partners, even though we might think it's purely business, there's really no such thing. Even the most "rational" people are feelings only. They might try to separate emotions and logical reason, but in the end of the day, a relationship remains sensitive by how we feel about the other. That's why, from a practical perspective, at any given time we need to give the highest priority to actions that touch people on a personal emotional level e.g.:

• expressing confidence and faith in others
• being kind and polite in small and simple every-day matters
• showing empathy and care
• complimenting others whenever there's an opportunity to do so
• being ourselves (not something we're not) and relaxed
• sincerely apologizing when we falter
• never speaking ill of others
• refraining from irony
• being quick to laughter and slow to criticism

The list could be much longer. What we should remember, is; it's not the behavior listed per se, but rather the indirect result that makes the biggest difference - improved communication through an emotional and personal connection. A real connection!

I've been in business and sales long enough to understand that individual contracts, in the long run, are worthless. What matters is our connection to others. That's what remains - a personal relationship is the long term result of any sale made.

I was in a meeting today where it came out so clearly; a lot of sales people simply lack insight into basic psychological principles. It sometimes makes me a little sad. I'm NOT saying I do everything the right way. Far from it! But because I want to "help the world", I thought I'd paste an extract from the introductory pages of my book "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success" (abbreviated 3E) here in the 3E blog. Please, tell me what you think about it. Here it is:

There are a lot of uncovered dynamics within sales, that traditionally only psychology has been preoccupied with. The sometimes artificial separation between the subjects of 'sales' and 'psychology' has kept sales people from obtaining relevant understanding of how communication really works. Sadly, sales people invest relatively little time into building a long term education through reading. Rather, they tend to focus on short term revenue generating activities and building relationships with their clients. Thus they rarely learn to appreciate and acquire deeper insight into the areas that are of far greater importance than what sales literature currently centers on. Today's literature and consequently 'sales training" is often poor and falls short of the deeper aspects of what selling is really all about. As a result the soft approach so much needed to become an outstanding (read: compassionate and human) salesman or woman is too rare! Instead business tends to be cynical and without a sense of human empathy, or to put it boldly, without love. Yes, what customers need most is in fact love and appreciation - or to further emphasize - attention from someone who cares on a personal level, beyond business only.

[...'Love', however, is but a small part of the second type of energy called 'connection'. With a bit of wit and rhyme we could say: "It's in the air when you care" (see chapter 3)...]

...effective sales and influence is all about energy. Like anything else in life - reaching out to others. It's not about quotes, closing, pipelines, PMA, a good pitch, super duper questions or all the stuff we so often hear about or spend our time doing. Yes, of course these habitual skills are critical, but still merely secondary compared to the innermost core of human interaction we call sales. If, however, we were compelled to highlight the nucleus only, clearly energy is among the absolute essential elements of sales success. In fact, once you've finished reading this book maybe you will have discovered that energy, the way it is defined here, is what selling indeed is all about. Energy is at the very heart of sales and sales success.

This is merely an extract. If, however, you would like to read more sample pages from 3E, then take a look here (demands that you register for a free log in on our site).