So I'm sometimes asked: "What are the benefits of 3E?"

(The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success)

In stead of giving the so-called full version, every so often I challenge them by declaring: "Once you've grasped the basic consept of 3E:

• you'll never read another book on communication or success the same way again.

• you'll never again be subject to receiving training without understanding the big picture. Now you'll be able to extract the essence and get seriously good results.

• as a manager you'll never lead again without knowing what needs to be addressed and how it should be done.

• as a coach or instructor you'll know better how to educate effectively and continually improve yourself as a coach from that point onwards."

These are just four examples I quickly mention. Of course the response is: "How come, then..? What is it that 3E does for me?"

...and here's the answer to what 3E does: At any given moment there are always three conversations running at the same time. It's kind of like a radio; in stead of only tuning in on one wavelength at a time, you'll now receive messages from three different channels simultaneously. Three frequencies at the same time could be confusing, but not if you had the ability to "listen" to the first channel, gently "observe" the second channel and let's say "taste or smell" the third channel.

We're suggesting that once you're able to see and perceive the three dialogs, you'll also be able to feel and observe the persuasive energy that's flowing from these three types of conversations. (It may sound strange to use the word "energy", but that's the best term we found for it.) Once you understand and recognize the dialogs and energies you'll be able to speak all three "languages". When you do, you'll immediately begin to influence - on three levels - what really matters in order to convince the people you desperately need to reach. What are these three levels?

1. What both parties perceive about your POSITION
2. Who you TRUST and who they TRUST
3. How WORDS and SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES run in sync with position and trust...

...to become truly persuasive.

Of course "these three in one" is a major subject or undertaking, but that's what this blog is all about, as well as the book itself, The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success. We've been at it for 8 years, now. Suffice it to say at this point, each of the three areas above represent "the end in mind". They are not something you just do, but rather the end result of doing everything the right way. THAT'S what 3E does!

What's energation? Energation is the combination of energy and communication (, but also a lot more than that). Here's an experience I had with this highest level of communication just recently:

Yesterday I was part of a meeting with a lot of energy. Said one of the participants towards the end: "This has been a wonderful meeting. I've had to go to the toilet for a long time, and even now, I just don't want to leave the room".   What a great example to illustrate what energation is. There's more to such meetings than just the purpose of the meeting itself. Each time we reach energation, simply being together and experiencing the energy and communication bond with others is a reward alone. We feel heard, understood, validated and important. We've stretched and shared something personal. We open up - maybe we cried. We reach for something beyond the ordinary and trigger emotions and feelings that we experience together. We come alive and communicate the way communication should be.

Energation is life! There are three energies that make it happen: Passion - Connection - Intuition!

With very few exceptions, successful people are 100% dependent on others for what they seek to accomplish. Unfortunately, most people still think of selling as a one-man show. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A true win is a win-win. Everybody knows that by now. "Win-win" has almost become an outdated hype - a worn out buzz word. However, successful people not only help others succeed through win-win, but they also establish a powerful connection with individuals, which has great value by itself. How do we build such relationships? (Remember, we're not talking about superficial friendships, but emotional and mutually meaningful bonding strength.)

A small but important part of succeeding with others is proactive networking. Effective networking involves five key principles. Each of them is possible to execute in simple actions as listed:

Please note how each principle has a specific action listed (as an example) that illustrates how it's possible to execute in real life.

One tool only

With today's technological tools it's easy to end up using several platforms and utilities to maintain contact details of key people. If we want to make tools effectively serve us and not the other way around, then we need to consolidate and make them work seamlessly together or eliminate those who cannot be integrated. With contact details in more than one place we allow technology to set limits to how many people we can reach, especially long term.

Care about all

Always remember that key people are mostly found in surprising positions. Top executives are important through the role they fill, but we've found that they're seldom the most valuable contacts long term; when they lose their position they sometimes completely lose their "value" - at least through the eyes of a cynic.

Always remember that our basic perception of people shines through no matter what we say or do. If we truly care about people because people have value in themselves, then that's the energy and message that radiates from us. That's what our surroundings pick up and sense. We simply need to be authentic in caring about others and the world will return the favor when we most need it. We care, not because it pays off to care, but because everyone around us has equal value as individuals. (That's something cynical power fighters don't understand, maybe because they never really cared in the first place.)

Law of reciprocity

...means "what we do comes back to us". Notice that the action linked to this principle is "create value by connecting people and specifying opportunities that they share". You'll find that once you connect people, two causal effects often hit in:

1. You'll quickly become part of the potential business
2. People will return the favor and identify possibilities you yourself did not see

One-on-One

Few understand how complex human interaction really is. If you want to connect with people, one of the most basic principles to live by is to stay personal. Friendships are personal, they are what one person shares with another. If you include others, you'll increase the energy of the social setting, but you dilute the opportunity to exchange personal emotions and feelings. Of course we need both settings, but when it comes to connecting with others, one-on-one is by far the most significant arena.

Always available

Being dependable is being there when someone needs you. Frequently, human need will vanish as quickly as the need arises. This means, someone might need information at an instant, immediate advice or a supporting shoulder for which reason they contact you. If you're available, you become the solution - a valuable individual in their life, there and then. If you're unavailable, because the need is instant and "overwhelming", they will call on someone else. Being unavailable quickly becomes lost opportunities, that others pick up simply because they were approachable instead of you.

These five principles, coupled with "the actions that belong to them" are only but a fraction of what connection is all about. However, they are the essence of an effective networker. Do remember - networking is not down to technique; networking is about being sincere, loyal and a believer in "the good stuff" that's inside each of us... In one word, building TRUST!

During the summer holidays I put together a quick survey on how we feel about sales people approaching us when selling a product or service. In one week only the survey had 52 respondents, and replies just keep coming in. The data retrieved and the information it provides is interesting, especially if we consider the negative side:

When asked how we feel when a sales person tries to sell us something, here's what we respond statistically:

In addition to this, of all respondents 11,4% explicitly stated they NEVER had a positive experience with ANY sales person trying to sell them something.

This means that when we approach someone about our product or service, 1 out of 10 has a 100% negative history with ALL previous sales people they've ever encountered. At least that's how they perceive it. To make it worse, 46%, i.e. pretty much every other potential customer, feels bad (and of those 1 of 5 "worse than bad") about you contacting them in the first place.

When asked to comment on simple questions about selling activity one overall answer and attitude or dominant "ground rule" clearly comes through: "I know what I need, and I'll go get it when I want it. I strongly dislike people contacting me about something I don't need".

What basic learning can we extract from empirical results such as these?

Actually, quite a few important principles surface more or less instantly. However, three of them I'd like to specifically point out, since they're core to everything else.

Successful (sales) people work on their:

1. POSITIONING - Operational dialog
   • helping others seek them out and come to them for help and problemsolving.
2. RELATIONSHIPS - Opinional dialog
   • helping others feel good about them as a person.
3. TACTICS - Optimal dialog
   • helping people take the lead and feel good about the message.

In sum these three make up what we call the SBP = SPP equation.

Here's a webcast about the 3 dialogs, explaining what this is all about.

We looked at why sales training mostly fails to deliver promised results. Here's a webcast that explains it in plain words:

We say "influence is energy". What does that mean?

Just think about it. What is influence?

Is it what you say to another person? Is it what the other person hears you say - or thinks you say?

Of course that's influence, but are words all?

I'd agree if you responded: "No, influence is not words alone. There's much more."

Then what else is influence? Body language, smell, sound, temperature - everything that our senses pick up..? Yes, all of that. Is there more?

Operational Influence

Oh yes, there is a lot more that influences us! MUCH more. What about internal conditions such as our self esteem and our heart? Self esteem and self worth is a powerful source of influence. Some claim thee most powerful. I don't know, but definitely crucial!

We could, however, flip the coin and consider external conditions such as myths, trends, cultures, family traditions and the laws and regulations of both our local community and national government as a whole? What about yesterday's events, the experiences and history we carry with us? Also, how important are predictions about the future and the authority of experts - or make believe capacities - to predict, prioritize and decide what's important and less important? What about physical limitations, the environment in which we live or the mind set of the people around us? What about the individual appetite or the collective craving for basic needs, or even fame and fortune for that matter? What about supply and demand, rumors, the media, branding, market positions, money, the financial market, "information" or everything the computer screen tells us in general? Do all these elements have an impact on our degree of influence?

They certainly do. All of these are highly influential factors. What we've listed so far is what we call Operational influence. Operational influence is the sum of all ramifications and circumstances in place, time and human mind set.

Everything we believe and perceive makes us "tick" a certain way. We act or react, but in total it's how we see ourselves (IDENTITY) in relation to the world (PURPOSE) that drives us. This passionate driving power therefore is what operates us and the world in which we live. It's everything around us, including ourselves and all that we have inside.

You say: Wow, that's pretty big! Yes, I'd say so too. But that's only one third of what influence is all about. There are two more important categories we need to be aware of. Together, these three form separate types of dialog.

Opinional Influence

What about the relative positions and power we have or think we may have, the knowledge we possess or wisdom we claim? Does our relationship with other people affect influence? Sure it does.

What about how others see us, our reputation and social expectations? Is there a connection between influence and how we behave in a social setting? Does our public record, informal or formal determine our power among others? How does the size of our network influence influence? What if we know some "important people in high places"? Does this leverage increased opportunity, and just how does it affect our execution of ideas and decisions? Does the way we execute in turn influence our degree of long term influence. We know it does. Our social behavior is critical to influential powers.

Let's turn it around: How do you think someone's prejudice, hurt, pain or simply bad mood affects our influence on them? And what about happiness, for that matter? All interaction is basically the exchange of opinions. Hence, this group of influence is called Opinional. Opinional influence is the sum of all feelings and emotions based on how we see ourselves, other people and the relationship we have with them. It is when heads are connected in such a way that we care more for others (SELFLESS) and the greatest value is found in simply listening (OBSERVANT).

These elements, too, are influence or sources to influence. Some people believe people are the ultimate source of influence. They're right about people being absolutely essential. What they forget, is that this is still only the second one third of what influence is all about. This type of influence deals with the human minds and how we are connected, how we exchange information and share lives and feelings. It's about experiences and retaining them as precious memories. It's about all those emotions that create a bond so foundational to how we pick up signals from each other.

Optimal Influence

What about the way we phrase a message? Is that relevant to influence? Or, what about the way we behave a message? Is behavior influence? I guess most of us have heard the statistics about how much more important body language is than words.

What about skills in asking questions? Does a talent in diplomatic ability help? What is the signal between the lines? Is there a message between the lines? If there is, how important is that message and what is it that brings it across? What place does enthusiasm have in persuasion? Is there a link between for instance the attitude with which something is communicated and the subconscious mind of the listener - how it is received, perceived and processed?

Are minor details and technicalities important to the final outcome of someone's decision? Can we exercise effective influence without doing things correctly in the eyes of another?

How does another person gain ownership to what we present them with? Should they be allowed the freedom to comment, critique or change our original proposals? What does this have to do with influence, anyway? If freedom is important, does that mean there's an element of innovation in selling? Should we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and humble in approaching another person? Why would this be significant when influencing others? What if the other person discovered we don't have all the answers? Is that influence, too, and is it smart?

A lot of the questions in this text are obviously leading and not a good example of how questions should be used in an Optimal dialog. However, I've written them to illustrate how questions quickly can become a manipulative tool. What does manipulation do with us, for that matter? Do we appreciate it? Does manipulation affect the power balance and influence? Research provides some brilliant answers and insight into this subject, but which we won't discuss here.

Perfecting our language, tactics and skills is the third and final group of elements behind influence. Since they are about optimizing our behavior and "appearance" through close interaction, this category is called Optimal. Optimal influence is the sum of all signals that peaks in desired action through another person based on discovery and conviction. It is when both parties totally abdicate their ego (OBJECTIVE) and render themselves open to intuitively discover what's better (SEEKING).

One Word to Summarize All

Each of these groups of influence builds on each other, as the diagram above illustrates. However, one is more important and foundational than the other. First comes Operational. Once the Operational influence or dialog is in place Opinional influence begins to have a powerful effect. Without the Operational dialog in place, the Opininal dialog is less effective, but still has some power. When Operational and Opinional are working as they should then Optimal influence and dialog begins to work as it should. This leads to energation.

Now, let me give you a challenge: If you were to pick one word only to describe all of this, what would it be?

Energy?!

That's what we chose! Read again and I believe you'll see why...

That's why we say "influence is energy". Yes, I believe influence is ALL about energy!

You want to know what really makes you a top performing convincing communicator and sales person. Here's the answer you've been looking for, and it applies to both you individually and every team or organization you're a part of:You need to answer the WHAT questions!

Research indicates that it takes *** the best companies *** seven years to find their identity in the market place. Now, we're talking about high performance successful companies. Mediocre companies and organizations never do. That's why they are mediocre. The subject at hand is the paramount question of - WHAT - that makes all the difference:

• What are we about? What is our place and position? What is our purpose and mission?

• What is our unique offering to the market place? What problems do we help solve? What solutions do we offer?

Even though the "what questions" quickly lead to WHO and HOW, the process is like a spiral staircase, continually revisiting WHAT until it falls into place. And just when does WHAT fall into place?

Because of its spiral movement, WHAT can always be answered a little better. WHAT is a question that constantly needs to be addressed. The process of answering WHAT is the essence of the Operational dialog, an ongoing conversation on all levels that at any point in time always determines the value of an individual or company. When a company is providing "what answers" that the market place is willing to pay for, it increases in value. When it doesn't reply appropriately to WHAT, company value decreases.

The stock price is an example of a "what indicator", but merely indirectly so. The share value of a company, even though the world of finance claims it to always be immediate and an instantly "updated" reflection of value, it always will remain a rather sluggish - lagging behind - indicator of WHAT; how the Operational dialog is working. If WHAT is addressed we begin to OPERATE with value.

Thus, the question becomes: How good are we as individuals or as a company to constantly engage in the Operational dialog. When we are, a clear WHAT is always in front of us and we have purpose and direction. If the Operational dialog dies or becomes unfocused, we immediately lose sight of our WHAT and everything else is affected and begins to crumble.

The Operational dialog is the foundation, but only the first of three important dialogs which make up successful people and organizations:

Our research indicates that sales people and sales teams are only as good as they are able to answer WHAT - both for themselves internally and consequently externally to and with others. Only then will everything else fall into place. WHAT reflects our identity and is the source of all behavior patterns. It communicates:

• "I have a product and/or service that you need"

• "I'm a part of X (e.g. a company) and I have meaning and a powerful purpose driving me"

• ...or simply: "What I'm currently doing is important because X"

Only when WHAT has been identified will individuals and organizations operate effectively. Not only will operations be effective and with clear cut purpose, but it will also be automatize what currently is not working as it should. Inner conviction shines through and will permeate every action and make it more effective.

So what?

What does this mean to me or to our company? What actions can we take to apply it?

Answer WHAT once again today! I suggest we make it a habit and lifestyle to always identify WHAT and constantly revisit this basic question. When we do, we should remember to highlight honesty and respect, because these are the key characteristics that help us map out what we're looking for. Without honesty and respect, we'll only end up fooling ourselves, keeping us from finding the "right" answers.

But you say: The task is so unclear!!? Here's how you know whether or not you're getting close to the answer:

When the Operational dialog is as it should Passion begins to flow through your entire system. Passion is that number one energy most needed of all and is the source of a winning and unstoppable attitude. Passion cannot be defeated. Passion is what permeates a successful system - whether it be a single person, a team or an organization. Passion is the first energy, paving the path to another two powerful energies.

To view an online media presentation on this subject, click here.

Like most people, you too have probably experienced moments of bliss when communication was just perfect. You felt at one with life and everything around you!

The past seven years we've been searching for what it is that makes such a "fusion" occur, especially within sales and in a business setting. We wanted to reach higher - for something much better than what we see in the business world today.

However short these glimpses of insight may be, they're real and filled with such good and powerful feelings that there are hundreds of descriptions to be found about them: Some describe it as "butterflies of joy", "ecstatic and rare excitement", "a magical flow of ideas", "pure conviction" and others simply as "quiet moments of tranquility and peace". Over the years our research team has chosen a descriptive term that embraces and captures the entire scope of it: Energation!

“To closely interact through passion, connection and intuition, reaching understanding and commitment beyond natural ability.”

There's a lot to be said about energation. In fact, it's such a huge topic I wrote a book about it. The common denominator, however, is dialog. Whether it be internal dialog through self reflection during a private moment or an excellent conversation with another person, there is always some kind of interaction and thinking activity that precedes energation. In all simplicity we've found that it's a process of exchanging energy in combination with communication. If we merge "energy" with "communication" we get "energation".

That said, energation is a shared state of mind and a mutual experience that is sometimes hard to describe. Thus we get all the differing explanations and descriptions of feelings and sensations. Still, when it occurs both parties can instantly recognize it. It's in the air. Our research has revealed three layers of energy. In our experience, energation occurs most often when all three are flowing: PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION (and in this sequence).

One Energy per Dialog

Each of these energies is a direct result of a specific type of dialog. PASSION grows out of the Operational dialog. CONNECTION grows out of the Opinional dialog and INTUITION grows out of the Optimal dialog. During the next few weeks I'll be sharing what each dialog is about. Stay tuned for more ;-)

Key Principles of Energation

Three key principles characterize energation.

# 1 - AVAILABLE TO ALL

Maybe the most exciting characteristic of energation is how it's completely independent from physical condition and social state. We may be rich or poor, male or female, old or young, in prison or out in the free, in war or in peace, hungry or filled up, cold or hot, sick or healthy. Regardless of circumstances, it's seems to be equally available to all. Energation is pretty much synonymous with happiness, but not the kind of shallow happiness we think of "on a daily basis". Energation is the perfect balance of outbound and inbound energy.

# 2 - PROACTIVE STEPS MAY INCREASE FREQUENCY

By engaging ourselves in Operational, Opinional and Optimal dialogs we begin to balance the 3 Energies behind effective communication - PASSION - CONNECTION - INTUITION. These dialogs are so closely linked to their respective energies, our focus should not be on the energy itself, but rather on mastering the dialogs - then energy follows as a direct result. Energation may occur, but not per se.

# 3 - REMAINS OUTSIDE PERSONAL CONTROL

Even though much can be done to stimulate energation, it remains out of our direct control. Whereas it will not occur without our consistent effort, it cannot be forced or manipulated. This does not mean it cannot be facilitated, rather it means we only have indirect control. Skilled communicators know how to create the atmosphere needed for energation to enter the scene.

Even though energation does not always work the way we would like it to, communication is always at its best when we tap into Passion, Connection and Intuition.

Why do we seek this unique kind of shared experience? Because energation is the ultimate way to foster enduring commitment in others. Energation has a lasting effect beyond any other way we know of. It motivates unlike any other element in human interaction. Energation is influence in the keenest sense of the word. It helps the people around us become self powered - gives them perspective - it ignites their character!

Being on the same wavelength is what energation is truly all about.

Let me assure you: Skilled communicators tap into energation all the time. It just hasn't been explained like this before. Not only does it help win the business. Energation makes selling a worthwhile and mutually uplifting experience. This is what you've been looking for. This is what you want!

(Read more about energation in the 3E members area - a sneak peak before release end of Oct 2008.)

We've looked at "when a message has power" as well as "when training works". Suppose you've got them both in place. Now the question remains: How can we increase or maintain our power of influence?

Influence was never static. It's always fluctuating - up or down. If we're not taking action to increase our degree of influence, then it automatically decreases. Here's the fact: Most people give little thought to whether what they are doing increases or decreases their level of influence with others. Had they been trained in basic principles of influence, they would have experienced dramatic improvement in being able to reach and convince others.

A good example of such principles is found for instance in Dr Stephen R. Covey's instructions where among other things he talks about "The Emotional Bank Account". The principles are simple and above all practical and easy to apply on a day-to-day basis (listed here). Influence is action. It is doing! This is at the heart of the matter - we either add or subtract influential power - through every single action we take in relation to others. Action is where it's found. Good action increases influence. Poor action or no action decreases influence.

The 3 Energies behind every form of influence are Passion, Connection and Intuition. These three cover the entire spectrum of influence. Whereas Dr Covey's example only covers one of them with the concept of the Emotional Bank Account, all influence stems from these 3 Energies.

From a birds eye view and higher perspective influence is energy. Therefore, the more energy we pass on the greater the influence we will have. Being an energy carrier and energy transmitter makes all the difference. Energy and influence travels upward in a spiral staircase through three basic questions - so basic it's almost hard to grasp:

• What am I trying to achieve?

• Who can help me accomplish it?

• How will I stimulate them to pull the load with me?

These three - and in this order - WHAT, WHO and HOW and our ability to answer them are what decides our persuasive abilities.

1. WHAT relates to our identity. It reveals who we are and what we are about. For instance, research shows how every successful company on average takes seven years to answer this first question.
2. The question of WHO guides us in which people that matter most. Everyone is unique and has equal value, but when seeking to accomplish specific goals and objectives some people are worth spending more time and effort with than others.
3. Asking HOW confronts us with the need to become specific as well as accept that others may know more than we do.

The WHAT, WHO and HOW apply to every aspect of life; personal, organizational, family, politics etc. Only people who know WHAT can be truly effective in answering WHO. Only people who know WHO can be truly effective in answering HOW. Only people who know HOW revisit WHAT with real insight. Constantly working up the spiral in this way is the essence of influence. All else is a subspecies or lesser variety thereof.

The first energy, PASSION, comes from answering the first question of WHAT. The second energy, CONNECTION, comes from answering WHO. The third energy, INTUITION, is triggered by HOW. Energy and influence comes through interactive reflection on the most basic questions we can ask. This is why basic is and always will remain most powerful.

Summing up: Influence is hard work, but most of the influential powers we have are generated much earlier in the process than what people may think. When you call someone, speak with someone or write something 80% or more of the influence you have in the moment comes from preliminary effort - not what causes your current perspiration. Work today to influence tomorrow!

Next time you attend (sales) training, try to keep in mind the following: Training very seldom has changing and lasting effect!

Coming from a trainer, this may sound disillusional. However, an effective trainer isn't truly familiar with how instruction works until he or she has seriously been engaged in evaluation of results. Every public speaker or instructor should be brought to witness his or her actual degree of influence. If this was done properly I believe the majority of us would be shocked and greatly disappointed. Research also indicates that most training not even remotely makes a significant difference in behavior over time. More importantly, a thorough understanding of better influence would lead to a) less monologue and entertainment and b) increase the level of interaction and dialog to reach involvement and effort.

Having been involved in training since 1992, I've at least learned two MAJOR lessons, summed up in one: 1) Learning takes place from the inside, and 2) energy is the primary source of change. A good mental picture to illustrate what happens when change takes place is this:

The above illustration serves to underscore how the heart is "the first amplifier of energy". We're looking at energy explosion! (In my next post I'll share more about the other two amplifiers following immediately after.)

Any principle can be understood intellectually, but still have little bearing on real life application. If a person is to be effectively educated reflection needs to pass through the heart of the individual. In the very moment the heart is included, it will automatically and instantly flow or "shoot" to the hands and feet. It is this spontaneous reaction that represents the first crucial step in changing behavior. For it to become a habit, consistent effort is also needed.

Acquiring skills in influencing others is enormously rewarding, but it does require the heart. The heart, though painful it may be, is not included unless someone or something triggers emotions and feelings. For this reason, the real question is how to generate, pass on and harness energy.

In this sense, training and selling are completely one and the same. This is why any teacher, speaker and instructor would benefit greatly from basic sales training. Yes, teaching is selling - both are aiming to influence. Influence is all about energy.

To see a webcast on this subject click here.