What is it you want, may be an enticing question. However, one way or the other, it is not the right place to start. Our intentions need a deeper source than merely aiming and gaining. "Intent" makes all the difference. Why? Because our agenda affects our entire style and demeanor. Ultimately intent decides who we will become.
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Most people are predominantly occupied with self interest. Thus, asking, "what is it you want", has an immediate appeal and most often easily triggers a response. But beware, the answer says a lot about who you are and what it is that dominates your agenda.
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Even though there's only one word that makes up the difference, that one word turns everything up-side-down: "Having" focuses on the external and short term gratification. It is driven by selfish purposes. "Becoming" focuses on the internal and long term. It usually drives a greater purpose.
Collecting
People with a mind set centered on "putting things into the box" (i.e. collecting) gain little from training. Their attention is focused on what it gives them in return for the time they spend sacrificing self interest. Attitude is poor. Results are even worse. How come? They are mainly exploring self interest by asking WHAT; "what's in it for me..?" and "what will I gain from this..?" seeing obstacles everywhere and becoming more and more blind to opportunity.
Sharing
People focused on "taking things out of the box" (i.e. sharing) gain more from training. Their efforts center around giving and less on immediate return. In the process their attitude is positive. Results take time, but they gradually undergo change. How come? They are mainly challenging deeper altruistic and societal purpose by asking WHY; "why are we involved in this..?" and "why shouldn't we..?" seeing less obstacles and constantly seeking new opportunities.
Are you able to quickly calculate the number of relationships there are in a group of people that all know each other? It's easy. But WHY would such a number, or the question itself, be of interest to you at all..?
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Relationships are one-on-one. The equation of human relationships is (n² - n)/2. So if you're in a group of 9 people that all know each other, there are (9² - 9)/2 = 36 relationships. Imagine the explosive nature of this equation as the number of people in the group grows. This principle is part of the secret behind the power of a human network. The more people you know, the easier you gain access to whoever or whatever it is you need.
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However, let's consider an even more important aspect of this. The flip side. What if you were that person with unlimited resources? Two questions: 1) Would you not like to be such an individual? ...and 2) do you think people would come to you for help?
It is my experience that if we make building a network our lifestyle, people will increasingly come to us for help and (and this is the secret) present us with opportunities on the way. People presenting you with problems that need solutions are usually bringing you hidden opportunities.
HOW do you build a network? By constantly engaging yourself in three key habits:
- Be the best at what you do (PASSION)
- Seek out and build new friends (CONNECTION)
- Give more than you receive (INTUITION)
...but you have to make it a lifestyle. It's only by practicing Passion, Connection and Intuition daily that you become genuine.
Influence is a desirable talent. It's that one thing that would pretty much solve every one of your current problems. It's your lack of influence that's the main reason for your biggest challenges - right now. You better believe it!
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You wonder why I'm so focused on influence as the single most important topic? Well, let's think about influence for a moment?
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For a moment, just lift your vision and view your own life in a bird's eye perspective. Consider every aspect of what you are trying to accomplish, as well as what you have tried to accomplish in the past and also what you will seek to accomplish in the future. Literally speaking, every problem, every project, every single endeavor small or great – the long and meaningful list of things you do and fill your life with... Does it not all begin and end with a relationship to at least one other person? It does, doesn't it? The relationship we have with the people around us is the very making or breaking of success – in every respect. You will have to agree!
Now consider every single important person in your life – see all of them in front of you – and ask yourself: Am I successfully reaching out in such a way that we are working towards mutual goals and objectives, giving me power to influence them? To the degree that you are influential, you'll be successful. To the degree that you are not, you will fail. It really is that black and white.
You may be thinking: “I may not be supremely influential, but I do have some influence on for instance my own daughter.” Well, then you'll succeed at least in part, but in no way will you be able to help her beyond the degree of your influence on her. Or you may say, I'm not yet interacting with and influencing the right or relevant people, but that's just another way of saying the same thing. Think about it. Be honest with yourself.
Success can have a wide array of definitions, but unless it somehow involves people or at least "someone else" it is has no real meaning, does it? What matters - long term - is the modeling influence you have on another person's life and actions. To learn more about influence, learn more about Passion, Connection and Intuition. which makes up the main ingredients or energies of Energation.
The count-down has begun. On Thursday the 30th of Sep 3E is being published.
"The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success" has the following message on the back of its cover:
Did you ever work on something you knew deep inside was a waste of time? Or maybe it seemed important there and then, but long term it proved to have little impact? Sure you have. I certainly have. It happens to all of us, and to a degree it's good we've been there to know what it feels like. It's not a good feeling, is it?!
Let's pinpoint something that's definitely not good. For analytical purposes, let's simplify our working hours and divide everything we do into three categories - in general:
- Low impact - casual work effort (80%)
- High impact - planned structural labor (20%)
- Dramatic impact - great discomfort and pain (0%)
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Let's define the two first categories to begin with, and then look at the last one that's suffering.
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80/20 Is an Excuse and Self Fulfilling Prophesy
Most of today's workforce spend 80% of their average time in low impact activity and 20% in high impact activity (yes, you've probably heard it before - 80% bring in 20% of the results and vice versa). However, these first two categories are dominant because it's what is expected of us, and sadly enough it's what we expect of each other, in total. That's why it's a well known pattern, but our own fault. Sad thing!
Of course, sometimes we do not work at all, but are on the phone with friends and family or are taking care of private matters. In this simplified analysis we class them as interruptions and we've left them out of the picture completely, as these activities are necessary to provide balance to our lives.
Taking Intelligent Action
We can, however, live and work more intelligently by taking a few simple steps. You see, if we want to move away from brainless living to take intelligent action, it will take a little more than just planning.
Moving beyond planning is done by taking regular time-outs to creatively think through our main objectives from a birds eye perspective, both individually and as a team. We do this by asking the basic WHAT, WHO and HOW questions to discover the stuff that will have dramatic impact on your business. These questions are so basic, they will bring you to the heart of the matter. Inevitably, you'll find that the suggested activities will mostly bring you "great discomfort and pain". In other words, you'll only do them if you are truly passionate about what it is you do. But, here's the magic: If you start doing them they will inspire Passion and more Intuition - a continuation of the process.
Surprisingly enough, if we listen to our intuition and act upon it, most of us know exactly what needs to be done, especially if you foster an atmosphere of openness and sharing. Silence and pausing is OK. But not only OK, reflection is extremely valuable. People need time to think and contemplate. Also, the more we act on intuition the stronger its guidance will become.
In Practical Terms
What really will make a difference is raising the bar by engaging everyone in a regular ongoing dialog to create a consensus aiming for a higher standard. For instance you might say; "Let's work smarter, and if smarter, maybe a little less..." Ask: "What will it take to make a dramatic difference, rather than a big difference, for which we're aiming right now?"
And where do you find the time to take such a time-out? By stealing from low impact activities. Typically I counsel our clients to get together during a Friday lunch or late Friday afternoon. That's where you'll usually find low impact activities, and a time-out like this usually is considered as fitting anyway. As a contrast, I would not typically engage in this type of dialog on a Monday morning. You probably see why..?
Thus, the real work is: 1) putting ideas down into writing and as measurable activities that will hold us accountable for results next time we meet and report, and 2) helping each other actually doing it - before we get "that other stuff" done which is less important, and really doesn't matter that much.
Of all self defeating behaviors, the worst stain must be the illusion of change - the fact that most of us remain in old and ingrown patterns and either don't know it or don't believe we do. Real change is slow, rarely found and a tough, honest and soul searching process when it occurs.
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Many years ago I studied the work of Robert E. Hardy on Self Defeating Behaviors (SDBs). Simply put, we tend to establish and maintain patterns, even those patterns that are self destructive. To begin with, that particular pattern or behavior served to help or protect us (which is why we established it), but when circumstances change and people mature, and because our approach is not principle based, it now hurts us, bars our way and keeps us from reaching new goals and higher levels of achievement. In other words, we hang on to patterns of behavior even though they don't treat us well. | ||||
Here's the bad news: We're all deeply entrenched in many self defeating behaviors. Most of them are hard to recognize. Many of them are difficult to admit to. Some are obvious and we hate to face them for what they really are. The good news is: We can eliminate SDBs, if we're willing to face them and deal with them.
Can you think of a self defeating behavior you're suffering from? How would you like to get rid of it?
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Well, there certainly is no quick and easy answer to such a big and important question. However, for the sake of briefly introducing you to what matters most and how you can make it happen for real, here's what you should be looking into:
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These three; Passion, Connection and Intuition represent a proven process for change, improvement and greater influence in the lives of the people around us, just to name a few benefits. You want this. You may not know it yet. However, sooner or later you'll find that success in any area inevitably will bring you to visit each of these three areas. Why not apply simple wisdom and humility by learning more, right now?
"If you tell me WHAT to do, I may do it for you. If you help me understand WHY I should do it, I'll want to do it and get it done, much better". The WHY makes all the difference. Why then, if WHY is so important, do leaders tend to forget its importance?
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Every time I do training, coaching or any kind of work to improve a company's performance I see the same crucial principle at work: Unless individuals see and understand the WHY, no lasting improvement ever takes place. However, when WHY is clear, dramatic change can occur, sometimes even instantly and without resistance.
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| A repeated flaw in leadership is forgetting to focus on individual perspective. When leaders try to make a significant difference, they mostly make their appeal to the masses. Thus, they forget that lasting change of habits and patterns is highly personal. We don't change groups of people as much as we change individual behavior. Help one person see the picture and you're well on your way to actually improve an entire organization. |
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I witness both types of leaders every day and it's fairly easy to spot the difference between them. When leaders are personal and stick to individual follow up they are able to move large corporations. When they don't, they fail and fail miserably.
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Make a Big DifferenceSo if you want to make a big difference, at least three energies are indispensable to getting results. Each energy has a principle attached that guides our efforts in becoming a change agent among people: |
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(1) Ask WHY / WHAT
Action: Ignite Passion by going one-on-one => inner conviction.
Passion is the energy that makes a person unstoppable. It lights up when WHY and WHAT becomes clear. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Why am I doing what I do?" and "What am I about?"
(2) Ask WHO
Action: Make the Connection by executing plans together => shared conviction.
Connection is the energy that bonds us and causes us to succeed together. It brings a spark to every meaningful relationship when it becomes clear WHO matters most to us. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Who is most important to me?" or "Who will give their all to the same mission as I have?".
(3) Ask HOW
Action: Stimulate Intuition by allowing individual freedom => discovered conviction.
Intuition is the energy that brings out the best in us. It shows the way in much the same way as our conscience. Individual answers will come to each of us as we deeply ask ourselves "How should I do this?" or "How can I best apply my talents and my style to solve these challenges?".
What determines the rise and fall of man? Passion does. Passion is not just a tool in selling or influence. It's you! In fact, Passion is life itself. Passion is about what you open your heart to, and whatever you choose to let in will determine nothing less than the direction and outcome of your entire life.
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Maybe the most powerful feelings we ever experience is the sensation of Passion?
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else matters less, or even close to nothing. This Passion, however, is still something you can choose. Passion - one of your greatest assets in life - doesn't need to be accidental, and it shouldn't be. We should carefully consider why and for what we open our Passionate powers. Why? Because it may (and I believe it indeed will) determine the direction and outcome of our entire life.
Let's consider two basic principles of Passion from which we may extract a few simple rules, and which when applied will produce the success every trainer, manager or even parent wants to achieve:
(1) Passion Precedes Results
In a professional setting the majority of the work force is not passionate at all. If they were, you'd see dramatic improvement both in performance and learning, instantly!
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Before we do training, therefore, we assess the level of Passion in each individual team member by the use of a tool called "Passion Assessment". (We also make use of similar tools for "Connection Assessment" and "Intuition Assessment").
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itself. However, the long term results are of far greater concern. We have found that if team members' Passion from training remains for more than 21 days results naturally follow.
To make such a reality, team members need a burning WHY and WHAT to remain passionate. This makes all the difference!
RULE # 1: .Effective training includes at least 20% WHY and WHAT
(2) Passion Triggers Feelings
...and feelings are good. We want employees to be emotional about their work. The best employees are those who know how they feel and are able to both communicate and stay in control of their feelings in a balanced manner.
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The minute we start tapping into Passion an interesting thing frequently happens: Conflict comes out of the closet.
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RULE # 2: Start building trust by getting feelings out in the open first
So to summarize...
If you want to be successful - if you want to influence others - you have to be passionate about WHY you do WHAT you do. You have to exercise influence in such a way that others become passionate too, i.e. self-sufficient and without your constant help in the long run.
Passion is what will determine your rise or fall. It will be how you rise. It will be how you fall. The same goes for all the people around you. Passion is the beginning of success.
Greater influence brings you faster to where you want to go. Passion is the definitive first step to greater influence. To a greater or lesser degree Passion lies in every positive change you ever saw. How can you tell how much Passion you've got? It's something people keep asking me. That's why this time I'd like to highlight three traits of Passion that seem to surface in successful individuals.
Passion, Connection and Intuition are the three components of influence.
Since Passion is the beginning of influence - in fact, the world never saw success without it - why don't we take a closer look at the immediate side effects Passion has on us. It's a long list of positives, but the following three emerge as the most dominant characteristics:
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(1) UnstoppableThe right kind of Passion makes you unstoppable. Whereas average people easily get discouraged and resent rejection, passionate people are inspired by rejection and put forth an even greater effort. Thomas Alva Edison, the famous inventor, when asked about his many failed attempts to produce a working light bulb responded by saying: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." |
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"Sometimes you just gotta do whatever it is you do long enough..." There may not be anything wrong about what you're working to achieve. In fact, you may be on exactly the right path. However, time is required to prepare and mature the world around you to eventually receive and welcome what you can already see in your mind's eye, even though it's not a physical reality yet.
Passion will keep you going until you finally get the long desired thumbs up that your cause deserves. Edison pointed it out like this: "Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
(2) The Real You
Passion will bring out the real you, for better or for worse. So tell me, what does a passionate person look like? Answer: Vibrant!
It usually is easier to love and adore someone that's passionate about something. They're even easier to communicate with, because they'll tend to have strong opinions. Their passion makes them come alive and it highlights how they are unique. Passion accentuates the talent inside people. Passion ignites their capacities in such a way that eyes start glowing and facial expressions display what can no longer be kept silently inside.
At this time we should also point out how Passion effectively drives away fear. Fear of being different, fear of being alone, fear of failure and maybe even the fear of fear itself, too.
(3) Spreading Effect
Passion triggers feelings in the people around us. We all know that passion or enthusiasm has the tendency to be contagious. However, let's remember that passion is much more than merely enthusiasm. We so easily think of passion as being "happiness". Passion is not a fast paced happy individual per se.
For instance, a passionate software developer does not necessarily move so much as a muscle and an officer in command may not be typified by a smiley face in the middle of a battle. Passion is energy that we can sense, but it reaches us in different ways. What we can be sure about is that (real) passion can be spotted in the surroundings of passionate people.
So what?
Would you like to be unstoppable? (Maybe not when it comes to being flat out stubborn. However, that's not what we're talking about here.) Would you like to become your best self? Would you like to have a positive effect on the people around you - excite them to action? I dare you: Find Passion and so many of your current challenges will slowly evaporate!
Regardless of what project you're in and no matter what your purpose or task might be, sooner or later we always end up asking ourselves: "Things are not going too well... what can I do to improve?"
I believe there are at least three basic questions we can always come back to and greatly benefit from. In my experience, every time I explore these three areas I reach new levels of understanding and conviction.
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1) Am I passionate?What is my purpose? Do I believe in my own "mission"? Am I driven by pure desire? If I'm not, then what can I do or even adjust to reach such emotions? No passion, no change! |
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2) Do I connect with others?Who among all are my key contacts and what's important to them? Does the way I interact with the people around me trigger their passion? What will it take to turn the lights on in my peers? No connection, no results! |
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3) What does my intuition tell me?What is the one and single most important action I could take today that would make an immediate and/or long term difference? What does my heart tell me? How can I apply my talents and my abilities to have a spreading effect? If I were to just be my best self, how would I go about making a serious difference? No intuition, no value creation! |
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So what?
Passion, Connection and Intuition each lead to three distinct levels of conviction. Passion leads to inner conviction. Connection leads to shared conviction and Intuition leads to discovered conviction. Here are three suggestions to how this can be applied - right now - today:
- Increase passion by thinking
- read inspiring literature - discover WHAT
- then... take time to reflect and explore
- then... take notes
- then... make commitments and execute
- Strengthen connection by interacting
- spend time with inspiring people - discover WHO
- then... take time to listen
- then... take notes
- then... make commitments and execute
- Follow intuition by leaving your comfort zone
- seek inspiring challenges and environments - discover HOW
- then... look for opportunities
- then... be flexible and accept the speed of the moment
And the best thing is, pick whichever area you'd like to start with. There is, however, a principle based order to these energies, as you've probably noticed: 1) ignite yourself, 2) ignite others and 3) ignite your surroundings. Try to cheat the order of this and you'll find you're up against a headwind. If you apply yourself to the process, you'll see, wind will start blowing your way.
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